“Everything will change when we marry.”
“I Can fix him!”
I wasn’t picking random messages from your WhatsApp chat; I was just presenting the very bright beginning.
We all know that it always starts from here, from this naïve faith, “I’ll be your favorite version forever” to end at “you’ve never tried to change yourself for me!”
from a promise that we deeply know that it will not be kept, to a real feeling of emotional manipulation.
In my opinion, the only reason for this dramatic end we usually find ourselves facing, is our desire to believe and trust an illusion, this false hope that makes us play the violins as if our titanic will never sink!
I’m a firm believer of the Bulgarian motto “A wolf can change his coat but not his character.”
You can’t make a person change, in fact also you will not change for someone!
It’s an important fact, and one that most of us need to hear at some point.
Frankly speaking, if the motive for change is not internal, based on personal experiences and learnings, it will never be enough!
A motive for change should be always ours, not from another person who is looking for someone else, there is no guarantees that anyone will be with you forever, except for yourself, so you’re the only one who has the power to choose “when”, “why”, and “how” to change!
So, if you needed someone to change you, I’ve to tell you that you will never change.
Even if you thought you did it, it’s a temporary feeling! being caught up in a whole other personality that is not ours, is something that we can bear, but not forever!
Specially with conflicts start to take place. It’s a very known story we’ve read in books, watched in movies, and heard it in every friend gathering.
And if someone told you that he will change for you, RUN!
A Last note from your narrator “You’re not an exception” and you’re not going to change except it’s your authentic decision! And If for any reason that you still have had these thoughts that you’re different from anyone who took the same road, you’re seeking nothing but the same dramatic ending!
Don’t change yourself just so that someone loves you, because even if you felt at a moment that he does, he is simply not! He just loves a fake version of you! Changing yourself for someone is not a love sacrifice, it’s simply to betray yourself.